Pokemon Parody
by Parody Lord
Summary: Follow Ash and friends journey, with twists, including relationships, violence, sex and horny Pikachus
1. Chapter 1

Pokemon Parody

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AN I made this because pokemon annoyed me. It wasnt real enough. Please note, however, this is NOT just sex and stuff, the real pokemon stuff will be in it, like Badges and Team Rocket. But also, there will be a few twists.

Disclaimer - I do not own Pokemon, but if I did, id poke it until it cried.

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Chapter 1 - Journey Begins. 

Ash woke up and smiled for two reasons. 1 he was getting a pokemon today, and 2 he had had an awsomely sexy dream with some real horniness all night. He had a big erection and felt like a wank. He looked at his clock.

"Shit, 10 minutes till I have to be at Oaks"

He thought he should get up, but the urge to have a wank was overpowering him, and he started.

15 minutes later he was breathing deeply and was approaching climax. Suddenly his door opened and his mom walked in.

"Ash honey! You need to go to Proffessor Oaks!" she said.

"Mom!" Ash gasped, releasing his penis and rumpling his blanket to hide his boner. "Dont barge in on me!"

"Cmon, you have to get up. Im just outside folding your clothes." She left the door open and Ash could see her folding his underwear.

"Oh bollocks!" Ash muttered trying to will his penis to shrink. He couldnt get out of bed or his mom would see he had a boner.

It took 10 minutes for his penis to retract and he jumped out of bed and threw some clothes on, and ran out, semen still on his penis.

"Im here! Im here!" Ash panted, running into Oaks lab and falling over.

"Ash?" Oak said, suprised.

"Im here its ok, where is my pokemon?"

"Ash, youre too late, i gave them all away."

"Youre shitting me!" Ash said looking aghast.

"No im not, you should have got here early."

"Oh man!" Ash sat down, his head in his hands.

"Aw cmon Ash, dont cry."

"Im not crying!" Ash said wiping his eyes.

"Ok fine, im trying to be nice,"

"You! Nice! You fucking promised me a pokemon! Stupid fucking retard. Cant you get anything right? Senile old dildo!"

"Woah" Oak said, looking upset, "I wasnt going to give this pokemon out, but here." Oak got up and went to the counter and picked up pokeball."

"Why? Whats wrong with it?" Ash said, eying the ball, warily.

"Its still wild and you'll have to work harder to get it to obey you."

"What ever!" Ash said greedily" Give it!"

Oak tossed Ash the ball and said, "Its an electric pokemon, so be kinda carefull."

"Right!" Ash pressed the button and a Pikachu was zapped out. "Wow! what sort of rat is that -? Ow!" Ash said as the pikachu shocked him.

"Dont insult it! It will get pissed of. She is a pikachu." Oak said, fondly.

"A pikachu?" Ash bent down to examine it. "Kinda cute"

"Pika pika" said the pokemon.

"What the hell does that mean?" asked Ash

"Well, a pokemon can only say its own name!" Oak said

"Huh? What retard thought of that? What if it wants to call another pokemon?"

"Well... I dunno." Oak said looking confused.

"Whatever..." Ash turned to the Pikachu, " Ash, Ash" he said, pointing to himself. The pikachu looked confused

"Pika?"

"Can it understand me?" Ash asked, stroking the pikachu's face."

"Well, basically yes, and be carefull. Dont touch his red cheeks"

"You dont tell me what to do!" Ash said, and touched the cheek" ARGSJDFSJ:O"

"Told you!"

"Aw shut up. You suck, me and this pikachu gonna be champions, you wait and see."

"Ok then, off you go"

As Ash left, he ran into Gary at the door who ran inside.

"Hey Gramps?" Gary yelled." Wheres my pokemon?"

"Get your own, cheap arse."

Gary left muttering under his breath, mimicing Oak, "Get your own, im a gay old fuck faced poo fart who cant get it up"

AN This is just fun, its not meant to be accurate 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Ash stepped back into his house, and placed the pokeball with Pikachu on the table. Suddenly Pikachu came out.

"What? Get back in your pokeball!" Ash yelled

"Pika Pi" Pikachu said, shaking its head.

"Fine, do what you want. Here" Ash got a bowl and put some Pokemon snacks he had nicked from Oak in it. "Eat this. Im going for a shower."

"Pikachu" Pikachu said and started to eat.

Ash went upstairs, stripped and got in the shower. Suddenly, Pikachu jumped in, and grabbed hold of Ash's penis.

"Aah!" Ash screamed. "Go Away."

"Chu!" Pikachu said, caressing Ash's cock, and let of a small spark of lighting onto it.

"Aah! Jeez!" Ash instantaneously got a boner, which poked Pikachu in the eye.

"PIKA!" It roared

"Uh oh," Ash said bracing himself.

"CHUUUUUUUU" Pikachu let off a full Thundershock right on Ash's nob

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"Ow...Ow...Ow...Ow..." Ash limped down stairs, holding his penis. He was dressed but his cock was throbbing like mad

"Honey? Whats wrong?" His mom said

"I um... caught my thing in my zipper." Ash lied

"Oh, not again," his mom sighed, "Do you want me to rub it?"

"Nah, Im ok"

"I heard you got a Pokemon from Oak. Where is it."?

Ash brought Pikachu out.

"Oh, so cute, now get it out of my house."

"What?"

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Ash set off into the route between Pallet and Viridian. He was walking and heard a little giggle.

"Huh?" He looked around and saw something shiny poking out of a bush/ He walked towards it and saw it was a bike. He looked

past it and saw a hill, leading down to a creek. He had never seen it before. A naked girl was lying by it, with a star like

Pokemon on her, rubbing her down.

"Oh Staryu, you're awesome" he heard her say.

"Ooh" he whispered lying down, and inching down the hill. He could see that she was red haired and very pretty. He moved

forward, hooking his leg round the bike to steady himself from falling down the hill.

"Oh yeah, fuck yeah! Oh Oh OH!" The girl was squealing as the Staryu reached her pussy.

"Oh yeah!" Ash said, going hard. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh.. shit!" Ash felt the bike begin to roll down the hill, and he fell

He rolled down the hill painfully, Pikachu running after him. He landed with a thump at the girl's feet.

"Aaah!" She screeched, and pulled the Staryu off her. Ash now had a close up of her fanny and became horny again. "What

the fuck?" She screamed, and looked round for her clothes.

"Um, who are you?" Ash said, trying to look cool.

"Im Misty." The shock seemed to have worn off and she also looked horny.

"Im Ash."

"Pika" said Pikachu and jumped on her boobs, but mist pushed it off.

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After Misty had got dressed, she looked round for her bike.

"What the hell? You pushed my fucking bike in the lake? You are going to get me a new bike. Im not leaving you

Till you give it!"

"Ok... So where we headed?"

"Whatever, your choice."

" Well Im gonna be a fucking Pokemon Master, Aite? How should I go bout it?"

"Are you a dumbass? You gotta win badges if you wanna challenge the Pokemon league at the indigo plateau. Nearest one is in

Pewter City, but we've gotta go to Viridian first."

"OK, lets go!"

They walked on, Ash in the front, Pikachu on his shoulder, Misty just behind.

They reached Viridian City without much more drama, and headed to the Pokemon centre to check their Pokemon. As soon as they reached the door, they heard a high voice

"Hey Ash!" It was Gary

"What?"

"I hear you got a Pokemon." Gary was smiling

" Yeah… So?" Ash was tired and needed to take a shit.

"Wanna battle?"

"Ok." Ash jumped towards him and punched him in the face.

"Ow! What the fuck! I meant a Pokemon battle!"

"Oh, ok. Go Pikachu!"

"Pika!" Pikachu jumped out to fight.

" Rattata! Go" Gary pulled a Pokeball out and kissed it, before throwing it."

The small rat jumped out.

"What's that?" Ash pulled a Pokedex out and pointed it to Rattata. The voice trilled

"Rattata – The weak rat Pokemon. This Pokemon is disgusting and ridden with disease. Anyone whose mouth comes into contact with it, even through a Pokeball, probably has syphilis, and needs to seek help."

"Ugh!" Gary coughed and spat and ran into the poke centre, and therefore forfeiting the match.

"Boo yeah! I won, Im a legend, w00t!" Ash was yelling.

"C'mon, lets go." Misty dragged him into the Pokemon centre, where he rushed to take a dump."

Author Notes:

Im going to try my best to finish the story, but only with REVIEWS! It doesn't take too long.

So far, the truth has been revealed in the following ways.

Ash was late to Pokemon giving: WANKING

Ash met Misty: WANKING

Ash won his first battle: SYPHILIS

Next time:

We meet Team Rocket / Ash gets his first Pokemon and more


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN – Ok, thanks for reviews, but more would be appreciated.

By the way, if you want to know, I make this all up off the top of my head.

My head has strange thoughts. Hehe

Ash decided to give Prof Oak a call, just to rub it in his face that he made it all the way to Viridian so quick

He picked up the phone in the PC and dialled.

"Hello?" Came Oak's voice/

"Yo, Oaky!" Ash mouthed a swear word.

"I saw that, this is a video phone!"

"Oh. Whatever… I just called to tell you that I got to Viridian City already."

"Hmm, you are way behind. All the other trainers from Pallet have got all 8 badges, and are challenging the Pokemon league!"

"WHAT! NO EFFING WAY!"

"Naw… Im just kidding" Oak laughed

"Twat…" Ash muttered under his breath.

"In fact, all the other trainers are right now in Viridian Forest, making their way to Pewter, to get a badge."

"Oh ok, im just going."

"So what new Pokemon do you have?"

"Uh well…"

"Go catch 'em, Ketchum!" Oak hung up.

"What a twat!" Ash said, but he knew Oak was right.

"Can we go now," an irritated voice spoke. Misty stood behind him, looking tired.

"Yeah, c'mon. Pikachu?" Ash called

"Pika!" the voice answered. Pikachu was next to him

"Ok, lets get going."

"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE"

"AND MAKE THAT DOUBLE"

"Huh, what's that?"

A man with purple hair holding a rose stood next to a woman with long red hair.

"TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM MATURBATION,"

"TO UNTIE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION,"

"TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE"

"TO EXTEND OUR COCKS TO THE SKIES ABOVE

"JESSIE"

"JAMES"

"TEAM ROCKET, JERK OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT,"

"SURRENDER NOW, OR PREPARE TO EAT JIZZ."

A small cat like Pokemon jumped between them and said

"THAT'S RIGHT"

"Huh? A talking Pokemon" Ash asked

"For Fucks Sake! We tell you a whole motto, explaining everything, and all you care about is the talking Meowth." Jessie exclaimed.

"That cat always takes the spotlight." James complained.

"Who the hell are you?" Misty asked.

"We're Team Rocket, stupid girl. We are here to steal all the Pokemon."

"You cant do that!" Nurse Joy said, "All the Pokemon here are really sick."

"Do I look like I give a shit?" Jessie said.

"Hand 'em over now!"

"No! Piss off!" Ash yelled.

"Fine, you leave us with no choice." Jessie and James grabbed their Poke balls

"Go Koffing!"

"Ekans, go!"

"The two Pokeballs whizzed towards them and the Snake and Ball Thing shot out.

"Koffing! Smog!"

"Koffing!" The Pokemon spewed putrid gas from its mouth and all were blind.

"Ekans, take the Pokemon!"

The snake jumped up and wrapped all the balls on the shelf, and took them to Jessie.

" Now, hand over the rat."

"What? No way are you getting Pikachu!" Ash stood in front of it, shielding it. Misty stepped in front of him as well.

"I'll hold 'em off, take Pikachu and run."

She threw a Pokeball and a Goldeen flopped out.

"Uh, that's pathetic." James laughed.

"Well, at least the girl is pretty." Jessie smiled

Misty blushed and said, "Oh, thank you."

"Yeah, pretty goddamn ugly! No offence but dye your hair, Ginger Pubes!" Jessie laughed

"Well, you're mum is fat!"

"Hey look! The little shit, and his Pikachu is getting away."

Ash was running followed by Misty and Nurse Joy. They locked themselves in a room and sighed.

"What should we do?" Ash asked

"I DON'T KNOW!" screamed Nurse Joy, hysterical and slightly insane.

"Lets battle them!" Misty said.

"But, I only have one Pokemon."

"But, this is a PokeCenter. There must be some Pokemon!" Misty said

"YES! OVER THERE!" Joy screamed again.

"Uh, thanks," Ash said.

"YOU ARE WELCOME!" She screamed again.

Misty and Ash ran over to the pokeballs, and grabbed a few, then went outside to confront TR.

"There they are!" Jessie and James rushed at them.

"Go Pokeballs!" Misty and Ash said, throwing the pokeballs. They were all empty.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Ash yelled!

"Hang on," Misty said, "where did they go?"

Jessie and James were gone.

"Maybe they got sucked into the Pokeballs." Ash said

"Only Pokemon go into Pokeballs. Oh, look what it says on the Pokeball. DANGER, WILL TRAP HUMANS TOO, FAULTY!"

"Hehe lets go." Ash said, he and Pikachu stepping out of the Pokemon centre.

The two walked away, leaving TR in pokeballs

( AN – Hehe, im so weird )

"So, where are we headed?" Ash asked.

"Viridian Forest. Lets go!"

The two stepped into the forest, and immediately Ash spotted a bug. "Look, a caterpie."

"EEEE! OOOOO! WASIWASIWASI!" Misty shrieked. "I hate bugs, go catch it if you want, but get it away from me!"

Ash walked up to the caterpie, and pulled a twig from a tree. He aimed and smacked the little bug Pokemon over the head, before dropping a Pokeball at it.

The Pokemon was caught. "Yes! Now I have 3 Pokemon!" Ash yelled

"Huh, I only count 2!" Misty said.

"Oh yeah, I nicked a pokeball labelled "Pidgeotto" at the Pokemon centre. Don't tell on me, ha!"

AN – Uh, a rubbish chapter. It will get better though. (Brock in all his dampness is coming!) Stay tuned, update on Friday. 


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note

Sorry to all people who thought this was a chapter. It is a note

This story is NOT dead, but it is hard to update with exams and all. Please do not kill me, they are over soon.

This is now going to undergo some changes, to make it SLIGHTLY more serious

YAY!

See ya!


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